Fairy Tail's Internet Crusades
by LucyxWhoeverIFeelLikeShipping
Summary: Fairy Tail has been in the dark for seven years with no technology, which is absolutely mortifying. What's more mortifying, though, is probably what happens when Sabertooth decides to take it upon themselves to show them. The result is catastrophic. Crackfic! P.S. Will continue by request!
1. Harlem Shake

**Yeah I know I'm way out of date but whatever. I wrote this forever ago. Fuck off.**

**Sadly, I don't own FT. *sulks in emo corner.* I do own a toy panda named Cheesewaffle!**

Sabertooth(except for Rogue, he wasn't stupid enough to go with the rest of his guild), at Fairy Tail, teaching them about the new technologies that had come along since their disappearance. Worst idea ever. They had set up Facebook, twitters, intsagrams, everything. Then some _genius *cough cough* BAKAMANDER *cough cough* _set up a camera in the guild, getting ready for the most ridiculous thing Fairy Tail has ever done. And they've done a lot of stupid stuff.

"You ready guys?!" Natsu shouted. "Yeah!" the guilds replied enthusiastically. "ON THREE!" "Can you even count to three, flame-brain?" Gray said. "Of course I can, Bitchsicle!" Nash shot back. "Do I hear fighting?!" Erza said, swords pointed at them. "No, of course not, Erza!" they replied, locking hands.

Natsu directed, "One, two, three, WENDY, GO!" Wendy childishly smiled, walking into the scene, than started to do Gangnam Style. The music began to play. Then they heard the phrase, "Do the Harlem Shake." That was their cue. In a flash, Lucy was hopping around like a bunny in a sparkly purple cape and a sequined yellow bikini. Laxus and Orga were doing the Macarena wearing nothing but a pink fluffy tutu. The exceeds were flying in circles, raining waffles down upon Erza and Minerva, who were doing some crazy Circue de Soilet shit. Loke was doing Gangnam Style with Yukino and Wendy, dressed in boxer shorts with a cute little lion pattern while Yukino and Wendy were doing the part of Gangnam Style where Psy and the guy in the yellow suit have a dance-off, only Yukino was in a banana suit. Sting and Rufus were hanging from the ceiling by their knees, waving their arms like a blow-up balloon advertiser, with Sting in his socks and boxers and Rufus the same, except his hat was duct taped to his foot. Mirajane was shamelessly making out with Freed, Elfman was in a pretty pink fluffy dress, spouting nonsense crap about pink frilly dresses being a Man, and Lisanna, Bixlow, and Evergreen blowing up stuff. Last but not least was Gray, on the floor, completely naked except for- nope, there goes the thong, along with Natsu on the floor opposite him in Lucy's maid outfit from when the infiltrated Duke Everlue's mansion. They were both doing the worm, competing to see who could do it better. When the song ended, they all immediately stooped what they were doing and walked off as if the whole thing had never happened.

**Don't fucking judge me, it's my first fanfic. If I get bored or something, then I'll write another chapter soon. As foor now, I'm gonna let you wait. Chapter 2-Reactions.**


	2. Rogue's Reaction

**Hey! This is my first fanfic, so don't judge!**

**Sting: Shut up and do the disclaimer already! **

**Well, ****_excuuuuuse me_****, but I believe that was ****_your_**** job, baka.**

**Sting: Shut the f-**

***points knife* Do it.**

**Sting: ALRIGHT! HANNAH-SAN DOESN'T OWN FAIRY TAIL HIRO MASHIMA DOES PLEASE DON'T KILL MEEEE**

YouTube. Of all things, YouTube. Just _making_ a Harlem Shake video is enough, but _nooooooo_, some _genius _thought it would be a great idea to post it on YouTube. Little did they know what it would cause. To be honest, it was perched on the border of insanity and the apocalypse. Ever since Natsu posted their Harlem Shake video, psychiatrists are getting more and more in demand. Then, the _Oh So Great and Powerful Sting Eucliffe_ decided to videotape other people's reactions.

With a hidden camera inconspicuously placed on a shelf, he had a perfect view of the entire room. He sprawled out on the couch, in just a pair of pants. He never wore a shirt inside his house, a habit Rogue hated with a fiery passion. Sting switched on the camera. "Rogue!" No response. "ROGUE!" Silence. "ROOOOOOOGUE!" Still no response. "Goddamnit." Sting muttered. He switched to the camera he put in Rogue's room, knowing something like this would happen. He casually strolled into his room, and upon finding him sprawled on the bed, facedown, looking for all the world as if he had died, walked right up to his ear and screamed, "ROOOOOOOOOOOGUE!" "Whaaaat?" he groaned. "Whoa, what happened to you? You look like someone threw acid at your face." Indeed he did, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair sticking out in every direction possible, and his pants were wrinkled to no end. His naturally pale skin and red eyes didn't exactly improve his appearance. "Wait, let me guess, Left 4 Dead until 1:00 in the morning?" Rogue shook his head blearily. "Call of Duty and MW3 until 4:00. Nice guess, though." "Well, no wonder I had to scream in your ear to wake you up from your _coma_ even though it's…" He checked the clock. "2:00." "Whatever. Go put on a shirt." Rogue said irritatedly. He hated it when people woke him up, so of course, Sting took it upon himself to wake him up at the crack of dawn on random days. It was too bad he has usually still up, playing WOW, or something along those lines. "Oh, I don't think so. You're not wearing a shirt, so why should I?" Sting replied. Rogue and he were gonna get fangirled to death for the shirtlessness, but he didn't care. "Did you only come in here to piss me off? 'Cause if you did, get the hell outta here." Rogue said stoically. "No, I have a reason this time!" he defended himself. "Well, then tell me and get out." he said sourly. Sting plopped his laptop onto Rogue's lap. "Watch." He said. He brought up the Harlem Shake video. Poor Rogue just sat there through the madness, not a single expression crossing his face. Even after the video, Rogue sat there, frozen. Sting thought he might have killed him. All of the sudden, Rogue got up and silently walked to the kitchen. Sting switched back to the camera in there. He pondered what he was doing; he had fully expected him to go back to sleep and have nightmares for a week. "Yo, Rogue, whatcha doin'?" He didn't reply. Instead, he opened a specific cabinet. He reached for something in it, then his hand hesitated and chose something else. He grabbed two strong bottles of liquor and trudged back to his room. He slammed the door and quite audibly locked it.  
An hour later, Sting was in his room, talking to a camera. "Okay, guys, about half an hour ago, I showed Rogue Fairy Tail's Harlem Shake video and he grabbed two bottles of strong liquor and locked himself in his room. We're g-" Sting was interrupted by a cry of "DIE BITCHES DIE!" erupting from Rogue's room. Sting ran up to Rogue's door and kicked it down, not even earning a flinch from the mentally scarred dragon slayer. Sting was amazed when he saw not two, but _five_ bottles were strewn haphazardly across the floor. Rogue was sitting on a bean bag in front of a screen depicting zombies with crude weapons, aliens with lasers, sasquatches with rocket launchers and more, pressing buttons on a controller furiously in a rapid flurry of movements. A huge explosion appeared on the screen, followed by the words **GAME OVER**. "Aw, fuckin' A!" Rogue said. Sting was surprised that Rogue's words were even coherent, considering that up until this point he had never seen Rogue drink and the fact that he drank a ridiculous amount. "Woah, Rogue, calm down, it's just a game." "A fucking hard one." he muttered. "How have you not passed out yet?" Sting said, kicking a bottle on the floor for emphasis. "I've been hanging out with Cana." "Ohhhh." Sting said understandingly. Rogue threw a controller at Sting's head. "Hey, what the fuck was that for?!" "Either shut up and get out or play the goddamn game." Sting turned off the camera and joined him.

After 4 hours of playing Rogue's admittedly awesome game, Sting finally got away from Rogue and posted his reaction on YouTube. The comments:

**WarGodofKickingAss**: Oh my God he fucking ditched me! I waited like ten minutes for him and he didn't get on MW3 at all! Watch your back!

**CanasDad**: He better not be doing anything to my daughter!

** CanaALBERONA**: wtf dad  
**TheDrunkFalcon**: hey just got a shipment of some fancy beer its supposed to b rly strong

**CanaALBERONA**: meet me at larry's

**RyostheShadow**: WTF STING

**StingtheBoss**: lolz

**RyostheShadow**: THATS IT STING NEXT TIME YOU COMPLAIN YOUR COMPUTER'S NOT WORKING I WILL FUCKING SIT THERE FOR AN HOUR DOWNLOADING VIRUSES

**WarGodofKickingAss**: Rogue… I'm gonna kill you…

**RyostheShadow**: Ah, sorry, Minerva, I didn't mean to ditch you, I was asleep.

**StingtheBoss**: Because God knows you don't get enough of it, sleeping until dinner every day. What's it like, Sleeping Beauty?

**RyostheShadow**: I WILL BREAK YOUR FACE

**StingtheBoss**: yeah yeah sure whatever

**RyostheShadow**: I WILL GET MINERVA TO BREAK YOUR FACE

**StingtheBoss**: OH GOD IM SORRY

**WarGodofKickingAss**: apology accepted, Stingy Bee!

**StingtheBoss**: WHY ME

**RyostheShadow**: cos you're a dumbass

**Hey guys! Here's chapter 2! What guild should I do reactions for next? Peace off!**


	3. This Means War

**Yo, minna! Here's chapter 3! Say the disclaimer, lowly slave!**

**Sting: Hey! I resent that!**

**You are now demoted to mindless thrall. Shall I hurt you?**

**Sting: Hannah-san doesn't own Fairy Tail! *grumbles* She does own a knife.**

**A sharp one. Heheheh…**

**Chapter 3**

**This Means War**

After a while, Rogue, Sting, and Minerva settled their differences. Well, not exactly. Rogue and Minerva ganged up on Sting and broke his face with a Nokia.

**Meanwhile at Blue Pegasus~**

Minerva and Rogue walked into the guild, daring someone to come closer. (Sting isn't here; his face is still recovering from its _lovely _encounter with a Nokia.) Imagine Blue Pegasus's fright when two of the scariest members of Sabertooth, looking _quite_ angry, walked straight up to Hibiki. "You." Minerva said. "You use Archive, right?" Hibiki gulped. "Y-yes." "Oh, quit acting like your grandma flashed ya. Do what we say, and we won't pound your face in." Poor Hibiki was helpless; Master Bob was at a Guildmasters' meeting. "Hai." "YouTube. Now." Hibiki was confused as to why they would come all this way to make him watch a YouTube video, especially with a dragon slayer, but obeyed, valuing his life. Minerva told him to show the entire guild the number 1 video. As soon as they saw the madness, they went insane. Ichiya was trying to inhale a memory loss 'parfum', but instead inhaled delusion parfum. "Why are there rainbows? I thought we were inside. Ahh! Don't stab me, pretty unicorn! ~men" Most people were running around, clawing their eyes out. Hibiki was huddling in a corner, shakily pointing a gun at himself. Unbeknownst to them, Minerva was videoing the entire scene. "HEY!" she roared. "Get back here!" Everyone came closer, stopping what they were doing. Hibiki reluctantly put his gun down. "Watch the number 2 video." "Minerva." Rogue said. "I thought you said you weren't going to show them that." "Well, it's your punishment for ditching me on MW3." "I thought my punishment was merely coming here. You actually woke me up before lunch." "Yeah, and Sting's right for once. In the mornings, you're not asleep, you're in a coma." "Whatever." "You! Archive guy! Play the video!" They all watched _Rogue's_ _Reaction_, shocked that he was actually capable of emotion. When the video was over, they turned to look at him, only to find him sulking in the emo corner, already having gone through a bottle and a half of alcohol. "Rogue!" Minerva chastised. "You call this alcohol? Let's get out of here."

Blue Pegasus was resolved to get back at Fairy Tail and Sabertooth. They decided not to mutilate more innocent YouTubers' minds, so instead…

"Oh my God! Who did this?!" Inside the Fairy Tail guild, memes covered every surface possible. Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, they found out that whoever did the disastrous deed _stole the alcohol_. Cana's cries could be heard all throughout Magnolia.

The Sabertooth guild was in similar shape, and Jiemma was _not_ happy about it. He thought the internet was a complete waste. He had declared that whoever was responsible for covering the guild in memes would be punished.

Rogue was furious. "That goddamn Blue Pegasus." he muttered. "I didn't even fucking do anything. I swear-" he sank into his shadows. Jumping from shadow to shadow, he traveled to Blue Pegasus and snuck in unnoticed. He jumped into Hibiki's shadow. He slowly rose from the shadow into the most terrifying way he could, a scowl replacing his usually nonexistent expression. "It was you." he snarled. Hibiki jumped. "This was your idea, wasn't it?" Hibiki slowly turned around to confirm his worst fears. "Y-yes? I'm sorry! Please don't hurt me!" "No guarantees." Rogue lifted Hibiki by his throat before sinking into the shadows, dragging Hibiki along with him.

At the Fairy Tail guild, Cana was going on a rampage. All of the sudden, Rogue rose from her shadow, still holding Hibiki in the air. "Hey, how's it goin', Rogue?" she said. "Hey, wait, he's hurting Hibiki!" someone said. "Let's get him!" Natsu yelled. In reality, they were all just searching for a fight because of their beloved guild and beer. "I see your guild is in much the same condition as mine." "Huh?" Natsu said. "Sabertooth is also covered in memes, and it has also been raided of all alcohol." "What does that have to do with Hibiki?!" Gray asked. "This man whose name is apparently Hibiki initiated the memes and the stealing of our beer. If we torture him enough, we may be able to find out where the alcohol is hidden." An evil smirk crossed Rogue's face, an odd thing for the stoic man to do, but he looked absolutely terrifying. Cana's smirk grew as well, and it seemed almost contagious; the entire guild was cracking their knuckles and warming up their magic. Hibiki gulped. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

**That's chapter three! The idea to start with Blue Pegasus and make Ichiya do something stupid goes to TheGrammarQueen!**


	4. Poor, Poor Hibiki

**I'm too lazy to do a funny disclaimer so here: I don't own Fairy Tail or else RoLu wouldn't be a crack pairing…**

Poor, Poor Hibiki…

Rogue and the Fairy Tail guild were pondering about what to do as of the moment, since their _guest_ *cough cough* _prisoner_ *cough cough* was currently tied by his wrists and ankles in a star formation, pinned to the wall by two _very _sharp swords, covered in various burns, cuts, lacerations, and bruises. Cana ran into the guild as fast as she could (which was very fast considering she was half-inebriated) with a fistful of cloth. Lucy trailed in behind her, panting, holding much more cloth. They looked at their unconscious prisoner with an evil glint in their eyes. Lucy threw the cloth at the boys and said, "For Hibiki."

When Hibiki regained consciousness, he was no longer in Fairy Tail. Whew! It was just a dream. Either way, he would still have nightmares about Rogue. He arose from the soft, fluffy cloud beneath him only to realize that he was in the park near his guild. The entire guild, even Master Bob, was taking pictures of him. He stood up. _What's so funny?_ He looked down at himself, thinking that his clothes felt a little tight. He was mortified. Fairy Tail had actually done it. He knew taking Fairy Tail's beer was a serious crime, but _this_? This was just _too_ far. He had just unwillingly been a _cross dresser_ in public! And no, as if that wasn't enough, this is what he was wearing.

They had roughly yanked a frilly pink tutu onto his waist over purple tights with hot pink polka dots. He had on a pale pink sequined tank top and a baby blue cardigan with bows and ruffles. They had also stuffed his feet into camo sequined high tops; of course they would put them on the wrong feet. A blonde ringlet wig put into pigtails with two frilly pink ribbons sat on his head, slightly askew. In a mirror from his Archive magic, he could see that they had rubbed his cheeks raw with pink blush, and judging from the similar way his other cheeks felt, they had _completely _violated him, not leaving an inch of him un-gayed-up. The pink eye shadow the girls (or maybe the guys, judging from the look of it) put on him had been heavily applied almost up to his forehead. There was red lipstick smeared all across his face, and even down his neck, where there was a large purple gemstone necklace with matching earrings. _Wait… THEY PIERCED MY EARS?!_ Sure enough, the throbbing in his earlobes proved that they _had_, in fact, pierced his ears. And the worst part… oh, God, it was unbearable. Readers, I suggest you stop reading now before you are scarred for life. Just quit reading altogether. Become an illiterate delinquent hobo that dances on the streets for waffles.

… No? Okay, fine.

Ahem.

The scariest part of it all was… *cue dramatic music* IT WAS ALL FROM JUSTICE!

_This is violating on so many levels… _ Hibiki thought. Of course, this entire spectacle was being recorded for the YouTubes as we watch. Then, out of the crowd came Rogue. Hibiki began trembling. The shadows surrounded the two, and Rogue quietly said, "Where?" Cana, being a little less… ah, subtle… began yelling, "WHERE'S THE ALCOHOL, DUMBASS?!" "He'll never tell you! NEVERRRRRR!" Ren said, obviously trying to make them beat poor, poor Hibiki into a bloody pulp. He screamed in horror as they cracked their knuckles. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**Credit to ****_adela's_****_lament_**** for the outfit! **

**Credit to everyone who helped me come up with this idea!**


End file.
